Am I the only one who always find myself nervous the night before a parents-teacher's conference?
Sitting in the classroom setting on a chair that is obviously way to small for me with knees knocking the table every time I try to move is one of my most dreaded moments in any given school year.
Not that I ever had to listen to anything particularly out of the ordinary or scary (THANK YOU, O, Dear God!) But whatever the teacher tells me seems to always feel like a direct judgment of my parental skill.
"Your daughter has so many friends and it's sometimes hard to stop her from talking in class."
This seemingly innocent sentence can easily be translated in my mind as, "You probably are not giving your daughter enough room to speak at home that she just finds the few hours she's in school as a perfect getaway to speak her mind."
"Your son is in a phase of finding his identity as a 'big boy'"
Translation: You're spoiling him and thus hindering his natural hindering process.
With three children, this means that I usually have to sit through THREE of these dreadful sessions and spend the rest of the day beating my self up. "Maybe if I had been a better mom, they would be better children" "She doesn't like math. Is it something I did?" "What should I have done differently?"
I have to admit that one of my biggest hang ups in life is my fear of failure. And parenting, being as important as it is, naturally poses the biggest fear as well.
Last night as I was sitting in the kids' room ready to tuggle (tuck and snuggle) them in, my four year old son whispered with half-closed eyes, "I love you mommy. You're the best..."
I smiled and mumbled under my breath, "Thanks Nic. But maybe that's because you're only 4..."
My seven year old heard my mumbling and said, "I'm seven and yes I'm upset at you some of the time and I know you're not perfect but I still love you because I know you're trying your best."
OK, maybe I haven't done such a bad job after all..
You think?
